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Sex for the over seventies - old age sex guide.

Read The Lazy Sod's Guide to Sex << Click for more information

In your seventies you think about sex just as frequently as in your twenties – the difference now is you think, “What was it like to have sex?”

Some hookers were having a few drinks before the long afternoon shift ahead, “Hey Maud,” said a newcomer, “You’re over seventy – how can you possibly still make a living at this game?”
“No problem, I’ve a huge clientele” retorted Maud, “my patch is right across from the opticians.”

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.

“I believe in having sex on a first date,” confessed Betty.
“That’s very modern thinking for an eighty year old,” replied her young friend.
“Well, when you’re dating eighty year old men you can never be quite sure of getting a second date.”

At seventy your only hope of finding romance is to hope that love is blind, dumb and desperate.

When young and on a first date your heart says yes and your mind says no. When you are seventy your heart says yes, your mind says yes, but your penis says “forget it!”

When you’re xx love is not the answer – love is the question. “Get lost!” is the answer.

When an 18 year old says, “I’m beginning to feel a little stiff you know you’re in for a good night. When an seventy year old says the same thing you know his lumbago is acting up.

At 20 he asks, “How often did you come?” At xxty he asks, “Did you come?” But at 70 he asks, “Did I come?”

 

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